MetalWiccaDyke's blog: "Rants"

Ya'll know that I've had bad luck wit women. Anyone I meet, it's only a matter of time when they leave me for someone else. Last week, I was left before it even began and I'm glad I have the help of a good friend. Right after the new year started, I was determined to meet lesbians outside of the bar scene. Myspace gurls don't respond back so I *hangs head* I went to craigslist. Haven't had any success wit any aspect of craigslist but I figured what's the harm in tryin. I wrote a lil ad in my own usually styl-ie and I waited for responses. As I waited, I decided to look at other ads and responded to ones that showed personality witout havin that "just come fuck me tonite" feel. One gurl I said I'd like to chat wit thru text and email first but she just wanted to call. Joyous doesn't talk on the phone. Oh well. Two gurls answered my ad and now I have 2 new myspace friends. One looks like she's gonna be an awesome hangin partner, it's just that she lives on long island. Well one of the ads I answered had potential. She responded back and kept in contact thru email and text messages. She wanted to meet 2 days after talkin but I thought that was too soon so I decided to wait til the next weekend and she invited me to a vision workshop. The day before the workshop she asked if I wanted to come over and 420. She only smoked blunts and took my good shit and rolled the worst blunt ever we watched a movie and talked and after the movie she made a move and we were kissin. That's all I needed but she jumped on me and started takin off her shirt. I played along a lil and we had a heavy pettin make out session. She started grabbin at my pants and I told her bout my no oral til it's been a while rule. She seemed ok wit that and we curls up and slept. The next day we went to the vision workshop, which was a lil dull, and then we went for mojitos on me. She invited me back up to her place and I suggested mine. Once again she insisted on rollin a blunt and even though I said I don't have enough she got a philly and rolled that last of the bag sayin we could get more the next day. Somethin in my head was botherin me bout ther at this point for some reason. She had mentioned that she was pregnane in august and had been pregnant quite a few times last year. Kinda felt like an experiment the way she kept sayin 2007 would be different, and I knew she was bisexual but when she asked me if I'd had ever gone to a lesbian club, I just had this naggin in the back of my head. Well at home we watched tv and made out a lil more but I just got bored. She seemed be nice but I didn't feel any passion or spark. at some point she said she was ready for bed. I actually was. As soon as we laid down, she was on me. Then she decided to get comfortable and that entail strippin down to just her thong. Don't have problems wit gurls wit meat on them. But this gurl was extra hip-py and my fingers got stuck in the fat around her middle. She realized, I guess that I didn't wanna do anythin wit her and proceded to maturbate and talk dirty. I just closed my eyes and after a while fell asleep. Next day she left and an hour later she sends a text "are you seein anyone?" I text back "that's random aftert the last 2 days" and she replied "I don't think it's random" Now I shared this wit my roomies and even they thought this was weird. I replied back "do you think I woulda made out wit you and invited to my house if I was seein someone else?" She basically turned my question around on me wit a would you have? I said "no and no I'm not seein anyone" After that I didn't hear from her the rest of the day. The next day I rested as it was my day off. At some point I ended up invitin her over. I got another bag and told her it was not for rollin. She didn't even offer to help pay for the bag. Everythin was scremin that somethin was wrong but I didn't know how to end this thing witout bein mean. I ran to my Linda and spewed out everythin. She hugged me and told me to just not worry so much and try to enjoy my time wit this gurl. Knowin she was there wit me made me feel better. My roomie, Mel, came home so that helped too. Mel went for a tenant meetin and the gurl tried to maul me while she was gone. I barely responded to her kisses and guess she noticed cause she stopped. After a while she left and when she got home she text that she was engaged to her boyfriend. I told her leave me alone but she had left somethin so she had to come pick it up. I shoved it at her and she kept textin for forgivemenss and that she liked me and thought we could have somethin special. I kept tellin her to leave me alone but she didn't until I had my Linda tell her that we were tryna get back together so she should back off. Last I heard from her. I swear... some people have nerve

I'm gettin sick of this shit. Post in long term woman for woman relationships and get 5 guys respondin who all are "sorry" after you point out that they're not female LESBIAN DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE GURLS TO TURN YOU ON! GET THAT THRU YOUR THICK IGNORANT PENIS-ADDLED BRAINS! If not the guys you get the "bisexual" gurls. The gurls who have never been wit a gurl before, refer to themselves as lesbians and then tell you bout the guy they've been wit for 5years (who so happens to just like to watch). I'm also tired of gettin the strait chicks. Why the fuck reply to my ad which is geared toward friendship turnin into more IF YOU'RE NOT FUCKIN GAY. THAT'S WHAT PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE. I'm sick of strait chicks. Most of the females I know are strait. Women in general I'm just sick of. One chick in particular asked to meet. I turned down that first weekend. Hey. I'd rather get to know a peron thru text and emails than tryta fumble wit what to say to get to know them in a bar settin (cause that's where everyone wants to meet or at their house *raises eyebrow*). Well the next week, I was gettin up the courage to ask her out for the followin Sunday. Mentioned what I was doin friday and she suggests. After she's done doin what she's gotta do we could meet up. I said ok and she she cancelled 2hrs before. I just went home. Told her the next day I was goin to meet a friend the next day for sushi and bowlin. I'm on the train to LI and she calls me askin what I'm doin. I remind her of what I said the nite before and said I'd call her when I got back to the city. I did call and after a couple texts. She said she should be done in 2hrs wit what she was doin and I should go home and she'd call. That was at 6:30... didn't hear from her til 11pm. Then didn't hear from her for 3 days. See the thing that really irks me is 1. People don't remember a thing you tell them unless it's about them (basically if you have plans and inform someone, they will forget in 5mins) 2. People think it's ok to drop plans last minute and when you get miffed, they shrug and say don't care, don't have the time to be bothered 3. People will make you work around there schedule. Say you make plans 3 weeks in advance. The day of your event, you get calls and texts to do somethin. When you explain you have plans, they try to guilt you into the fact "we never hang anymore" Who's fuck fault is that? 4. Unless you are datin someone, you don't mean shit to them. And this will never change. Talked about it before. No matter how many times you're there for someone, as soon as they start datin a person, you don't exist and they have no time for you. Let that person end the relationship and all then you become visible again. Is it really that hard to find trustworthy women who won't place you on a shelf til it's in their best convenience to remember you're there?

Last nite I had a dream I was hangin wit some people in a place that looked like my grandma's apartment and we befriended this guy who tried raped one of my friends and left wit her after threatenin us wit a knife. I stalked found him and led the police to where he was but he got away. Time after time he got away. That's when I found him, lured him back to my house and hacked him up wit a machete and rubbed his blood all over me, lickin my hands and fingers and laughin. My friends cleaned me up and we buried the body pieces. They were kinda wary of me but the friend who was raped wanted to thank me. I was sittin in the livin room watchin tv in the living room she was sittin next to me and next thing I know she was in my lap, pressed into me, she bent to kiss me and... I woke up

I hate her. I hate that she took you from me and treats you like shit except when she feels like bein nice. I hate how sometimes I try to talk to you and get 3 words but you text bout her and it goes into multiple messages. I hate it so much I keep my responses to less then 5. I hate that I wanna call you durin the week and just tell you bout my day but you fall asleep after gushin bout her half-assed displays of affection. I hate how it feels like when we first became friends and then I'm reminded bout how things are. I hate how half of my feels happy you're goin thru heartache cause it's what you did to me and half of me wants to comfort cause I don't like seein you hurt. *wipes mouth, takes a deep breath and exhales*

Sorry's a word. No more words. Time for action. The sweet gurl who let everythin slide is gone. Behold the Cunt that's here in her place. You can't handle it. Go the fuck away. You're not welcome