Rated XDream's blog: "Thoughts and Obsessions"

Getting Freaking Evicted, so if I'm not here, now you know why. If you wanna stay in touch with me through all of this, and hopfully have or will get aim (it's the ONLY one I can get on my cellphone provider) send me an email, and I'll give you my user name. Take Care Cherries.

12 hour days fucking blow. Yes, fucking blow. Today was my last one, I think, for now. Subject to change. 4.00 selected generic prescription plan being sprung on us at the last minute annoyed me. Along with people who don't want to pay their 1 and 2 dollar copays. Random rants. I feel like I'm being ignored as of lately, especially by a certain someone. And it's pissing me off. I'm generally just bitchy today. My body aches from long hours and no breaks. Yes, I am a bit spoiled, and I"m sore when I have to put in a lot of hours and have a 30 minute lunch. I really need to start eating more, I think I had one sandwich all day. Oh, and a couple of mini mounds bars. Chocolate is a must when dealing with stupid people 11 and 1/2 hours. Boss is on vacation!! YAY!! Boss is going to Italy, so no calls or nothing. YAY. Too bad district manager isn't going with him..... Might get kicked out, so if I'm not here for a while, that's why. Even with working all these hours they keep fucking going up on our rent. Trying to stop cursing, obvioulsy that isn't working. I feel like cursing is making me sound less intelligent. My Current Reading Material: Philosophy: An Introduction. I shall wax intellectual at a later date, for I am too tired. Oh and I have to study for my Certification....Math sucks, even if it is easy math in pharmacy (well at least it is when your a technician!!). Enough Ramblings For Today....

Okay, as you all know, I've had an extremely exhasting week at work, I pulled almost 60 hours. So if it says I'm online, and I'm not talking, know I'm not ignoring you, I've fallen asleep(or I got called into work, whatever). Sleep is good. I've learned that. My insomnia has dissappeared temporarily, and before long I will go back to the never sleeping, always online, insane person we all know and love. I just thought I would make that clear so everyone knows I'm not ignoring them, I'm just sore and tired. Take care all you crazy cherries!! LOL.

I can't deside if I'm hyper or if I'm tired. And that is a weird state to be in. Too much caffeine and too much valarian root makes me all loco. It isn't helping that I put in something like 57 hours this week, let me add it up: Saturday 3.5 hours, Monday 9, Tuesday 11, Wednesday 11, Thursday 11, Friday 11. You do the math, but yeah, that's round about how much time I put in. I"m married to that place. Missing someone right now.... Tra-la-la. I want to sing, that's random, but I really want to go karoke. But I'll probably chicken out since I get shy rather quickly and freeze in front of large audiences. Actually, I just freeze when I get up to speak. I used to never be that way. My friend and I used to make an ass out of ourselves in public all the time, but I've slightly calmed down. But only slightly. I want to go hiking, I have this insane urge to climb something. And I"m scared of hights, so this might be interesting. As long as I don't freak out, I will be fine. I really, really want to climb something though. That might just be because I'm stir crazy right now. Actually, I want to go to a club. I"m tired of the bar scene and I want to get my freak on the dance floor. Dancing keeps me occupied, and cute guys are usually there (LMAO, sorry Jay...). But I think I will wait. My friend wants me to move to Phoenix...but it's too damn hot, and I don't really want to live there, blah. Well that's about all I have to say today. Remember kids: Valarian Root + Caffeine (pill plus soda) = The weirdest feeling ever.... Uppers and downers don't mix well. For now, I'm out. Oh My. I almost forgot, It's friday the 13th, my favorite day!! I love friday the 13th's, especially in October!! YAY!! I should have went to Jerome and tried to find ghosties!! LMAO. (Jerome is a ghost town where many people died, suposidly haunted). Oh yeah, and my wrestling dork self. Yes, I am a WWE wrestling dork. The Marine, came out today, I want to go see it. Someone please take me to see this movie. I ::heart:: John Cena!! ::sigh::

More Stuff From My Myspace Blog: So far in 06.... 1.Have you had more than 5 different serious relationships? one relationship 2. Have you had your birthday? yuppers 3. Been to church? nope, but then again I am wiccan.... 4. Cried recently? I cry all the time, I have this disease called bi polar.... 6. Pulled an all nighter? not this year 7. Drank Starbucks? mmmm. yup. I love white chocolate frapachino 8. Went shopping? with what money? 9. Been camping? fuck no, I'm not too big on sleeping with the nasty beasties and wild animals 10. Been to the beach? I live in Arizona.....>.> 11. Bought something for over $200? hmm, Rent. Oooh, and my lappy, and the 360, parts for the other computer, I spend a lot of money 12. Met someone? every day 13. Been out of state? No, I'm a big loser. 14. Gone Snowboarding? nope sucka. They probably don't have enough snow in flagstaff anyway... 15. What are you thinking? About alot of things, I'm suprised I'm semi focused on this 1. Hugged someone? I hug people all the time, comes with being a "touchy feely" person 2.Slept in someone elses bed? *smirks* who wants to know... 3. Snuck someone over? Um....I'm not in highschool, and I live on my own. Why sneak someone over when they can just come through the front door? 4. Snuck out of your own house? Why? It's my apt, I can come and go as I please. 7. Gotten a car? nah 8. Gone over your cell phone bill? *bites lip* guilty... 10. Drove somewhere? I don't drive 11. Done something you regret? Oh I'm sure I have [[Lasts...]] Last Thing you bought? condoms (lmao) actually food Last Person you hugged? Probably Keith, but I hug so many people at work Last Person to call you? Jay Last time you took a shower? a couple days ago (I've just been washing my hair in the morining lately) When was the last time you felt stupid? I make an ass of myself on a daily basis Who was the last person you danced with? um. I danced at work, does that count? Who did you last yell at? an insurance company, but I wish it would have been the customer. Why couldn't it have been the customer, it would have made things so much better. What did you do today? Worked 12 fucking hours TEN FACTS 01. Hometown: Representing Ft. Worth, Texas. Yes, I'm a Texan. 02. Car? I guess you can kinda count the 1979 Ford Bronco that was supposed to be mine, but it's a beast... 03. Boyfriend/Girlfriend? pass 04. Hair style? wash and brush and I'm good 05. Eye color: green-blue 06. Height: 5'5" or 5'6" 07. Pets? 1 kitty 08. Mood: pleasently disturbed, hyper, and tired all at the same time TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE 01. Have you ever been in love? a few times 02. Do you believe in love: Yesh 03. Why did your LAST relationship fail:? We make better friends 04. Have you ever been heartbroken: Yes. 05. Have you ever broken someone's heart: yes 06. Have you ever fallen for your best friend? Don't think so 07. Have you ever loved someone, but never told them: yes, and it's incredibly painful 08. Are you afraid of commitment? yes, sometimes I am 09: Would you ever date one of your exes? yes 10. Have you ever had a secret admirer? nope, unless someone wants to come forward TEN THINGS 01. Love or lust: both are needed 02. Liquor or beer: Liquor 03. Night or day: Night 04. One night stands or relationships? Relationships and Friendships 05. TV or internet: Internet 06. Pepsi or Coke: Both 07. Wild night out or romantic night in: depends on my mood 08. Black or white: gray TEN EMOTIONS 01. Are you missing someone right now: yup 02. Are you happy? about as happy as I can be without Zoloft 03. Are you talking to anyone right now: um...no not really 04. Are you eating anything? nope, drinking soda 05. Are you Mexican: Stares at skin: Nope. 06. Are you Russian: Maybe a little 07. Are you French: Nope 08. Are you Italian: Nope 09. Are your parents still married? Nope 10. Do you like someone right now? I like a lot of people... >.>

Yeah, I'm a big dork. More Randomness and Things YOu didn't need to know. LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE Name: Brandy Birth date: 09-14-1982 Current Location: in front of my computer, one would suppose Eye Color: green, blue, brown, whatever the fuck color they feel like being, but usually green. Hair Color: Blonde, but my brown roots are showing (oops) Righty or Lefty: I use both Zodiac Sign: Virgo LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE Your heritage: German, Czech, English. WHITE GIRL. Your fears: snakes, spiders, heights, commitment, clowns, needles Your weakness: sexy street tuners, sexy younger boys, Candies (the cologn) for men (yummers), technology Your perfect pizza: pepperoni, xtra, xtra, xtra, and xtra cheese, jalapano Goal you'd like to achieve:figuring out what I want to do when I grow up, get my pharmacy technician certification and lose some poundage. LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW Your thoughts when first waking up: Fuck I have to pee, and damn I don't want to get up. Fifteen more minutes, please.... Your best physcal feature: my eyes, they are sex Tattoos: one on my shoulder Your bedtime: midnight to five am depending on my insomnia Your most missed memory: um...I dunno LAYER FOUR: OUR PICK Pepsi or Coke: Both. McDonald's or Burger King: Gross, I so hate fast food. Single or group: Both Lipton Tea or Nestea: Lipton Chocolate or vanilla: a little of both yummers LAYER FIVE: DO YOU? Cuss: every fucking day, ha!! Take a shower daily: yeah Have a crush: mmmhummm Think you've been in love: No, I don't think I've been in love, I know I've been in love and it's the best and worst feeling ever Like(d) school: I love school. Call me a weirdo.... Want to get married: Meh, Not really on my agenda, I'm a bit of a free spirit, though if the right boy were to ask me.... Believe in yourself: Sure Think you're a health freak: I try to eat organic, and I"m mostly vegitarian, but I LOVE chocolate and icecream, so yes and no. LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU.. Gone to the mall: No :( Been on stage: performed? Nah Eaten Sushi: No. dyed your hair?: Yuppers LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER Played a stripping game: No. Gotten beaten up?: No. Changed who you were to fit in: No. LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD Age you're hoping to be married: I'm getting up there in age, at least by 30, if it's gonna happen Want to die: When the god and goddess take me, I don't really have a choice in that matter LAYER NINE: IN A GUY/GIRL Best eye color: I love all colors. Best hair color: browns, blacks, blondes Short or long hair: whatever looks good on said person LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING 1 HOUR AGO: getting off of work after putting in 12 hours 1 WEEK AGO: probably doing something like this 1 YEAR AGO: Meh, I can barely remember what I did yesterday. LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE I LOVE: my family, my friends, my kitty I FEEL: hyper I HATE: stupid people I HIDE: Things I don't want people to know. I MISS: my daddy.

I know I'm not beautiful, and everyone I fall in love with is a jerk. I guess you can say I am a failure when it comes to relationships. I always fall for the wrong type of person. I can't be good enough for anyone. I always feel I have to change myself in some way to become better. I'm trying not to feel down on myself, but every guy I've fallen for has hurt me, and I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of feeling a feeling that isn't there. Blah, I'm just rambling.

Okay, so I started off slightly peeved that I had to be at work. Yes, work, on my freaking day off, and if pulling almost 48 hours wasn't enough for their asses. Next week will probably be fifty hours. Besides that, I got off work and was picked up by some friends. Went to sedona and went to the shops and mostly window shopped here and there, talking, gabbing etc. We went and ate because Brandy and I (yes my freinds name is Brandy and so is mine) were starving so we went to a mexican place. Nothing to write home about, the food and service were mediocre at best. We stopped at the Chappel of the Holy Coss In Sedona, Arizona cause I had never been there, it's quite a hike to get there, but the view is amazing. Hense the new pictures in the photography and stuff folder. This is the Church I went to I didn't take that picture, and I'm not sure who did, but who ever it was, yay for them. We ended up in the casino and gambled a bit. Brandy and I went to the bar to get some drinks, and Christie and Jarod (the other two) kept gambling. No one won much. We went to the bowling alley and played 5 games. My arm is so freaking sore. I had a bit much to drink, so I'm a little buzzed. A good night, except for the part of my friend and her boyfriend still wanting me to have sex with them. No, that wasn't a typo, they want ME to have sex with THEM. Mostly Christie wants Jarod to have sex with me. This is odd, so I have to mind my mannors and hold my tongue to not tell them both off. This is not an act I particiapate in. This has been the ongoing (and getting more uncomfortable) situation in my life. Part of my stress. I tell them no nicely, I"ve been a bitch about it, yet they still bring it up. I don't know what I have to do to convense them I'm not up for this. GRRR.

I've been in a rut, and a rather fowl mood lately, so if I've snapped at you, I apologize in advance. I'm taking a natural supplement to help my anxiety and I'm hoping that it will soon dissappear. Maybe working so many hours ISN'T such a good idea, customers are raking on my last nerve asking the dumbest questions possible. On a good note, I saw my friend Phil today, I miss that boy. One of my best friends, and I miss him dearly. I squeeled and tackled him, yay!! He lives down in ghetto phoenix (not all phoenix is ghetto, but where he lives.....wow..). Biker Rally/Get Together in Jerome tomorrow, MASS COPS, not my favorite thing to deal with. Let's just say that even though I have a crystal clean record, I'm not to fond of law enforcement, especially law enforcement in the verde valley. They are no good pieces of shit in my opinion. I've watched them plant evidence, with my own eyes, and I don't stand for that!! Anyway, after that rant, yeah, I want to go to the Biker rally, but I don't have any money :(. I'll probably be in Sedona most of tomorrow, taking some pics and wasting time with my friends. My job, granted, I may like it, but damn 46-50 hours is TOO MUCH. Mostly because I can't deal with the idiots who don't listen, or who tell me every irrelovent thing known to man before they finally blurt out what they want. I'm a nice, understanding person, who would love to listen to you, except when I have 24 in fill, a line of people waiting to drop off prescriptions, several people needing their prescriptions ran under insurance and the phone ringing like there is no tomorrow. Please use common sense. And please don't bitch me out when I ask for your birthday, I have to have it, by law. Get over it, or find another way to obtain your prescriptions. And don't whine about how far you have to drive, I really don't care or how long it takes to transfer a prescription because you need to catch a flight, leave town or your travelling. Okay, I needed to get that out of my system. Allergies are killing me, and I regretfully do not have the finacial means nessesary to take my ass to the doctor and obtain a prescription for my relief... Management at Wal-Mart is like working with a bunch of trained monkeys. They might work their ass off, but they are dumb as a rock. Oh, lets send all the dept managers to another store to help them set up, so the rest of our store can be even more short. ::rolls eyes:: Our store bairly functions with the amount of people we have, but yet they send more and more to Winslow to help them. In return we have hardly any dept managers, even fewer unloaders, and our back room on the GM (General Merchandise or anything not grocercery) side is so cramped full of pallets you can barely walk. Not like we have the manpower to put them away, and our nightstockers are about useless. Last, but not least, I'm so fucking done with drama. Drama here on the LC, Drama at work, drama at home. BLAH. I just wish that people would grow the fuck up and stop being pussies about things. Don't start shit. Don't make threats. Dont' act like we are in highschool. Grr, it makes me mad. I think I'm done with rants, for now. I might add more later. Take care all of you cherries who read this.

Hey Everyone!! I'm just letting you know if I'm not around, this is why. Normally, I am one of the three technicians, I'm one of the "head technicians." Anyway, due to circumstances beyond my control, one of them was fired today. The other is going on vacation. So here I am doing a three person job by myself. Yes, this does mildly upset me, but there is hope. Yes, hope. I get to work OT, but I'm going to be working 8am-8pm Mon-Friday and possibly weekends. I will be dog tired. If you leave me a message, it may take me a couple of days or so to get back to you. Anyway, I"m letting everyone know, take care.